- Format Short Documentary
- Length 20 minutes
- Themes Transgenderism and Drag, Islam and Women, War in Ukraine.
- Production Week 26/11/2022 - 01/12/2022
Logline
We follow the self-assertive journey of a woman who grew up as a boy in Lebanon, in a muslim household, who then moved to Ukraine for her studies in medicine, only to end up escaping the war to Berlin, and becoming what she's always dreamed to be: a female dance performer.
Synopsis
(Extended Version)
To begin with, we find ourselves in a subway in Berlin, not identifying who's the main focus exactly. Yet we recognise the same pear of shoes that come back, along with a second timeline where we see someone preparing to go on stage, overlapping with the subway shots. Finally, we hear her name: Lana Diamond is welcomed on stage. At this moment, we see her in her home, introducing herself, summarising in a few sentences her fascinating yet lonely journey of becoming a woman.
Throughout the different stages of her story, we are confronted with this Talking Head shot, and B-Roll that illustrate her words. She begins by talking about her passion for dancing, what it provokes in her and in her audience, feeling quite fulfilled and seen. Moving on to her childhood life: she gives us her insights on how it was to be having existential questions throughout school, along with the presence of Allah in her religious upbringing, through her parents' islamic education and reaction to her particular situation. We see her in a mosque, remembering her past: a mixture between nostalgia and trauma. She then evokes the feeling of becoming a woman, her inner-journey during her transition, trying to define exactly what it is to be a woman, not only to the eyes of the others but mainly when alone. At this point, we see her in her house in Berlin, alone in her room, as if no one were there. Dancing, putting makeup, smoking, laying in bed with music, and so on. Leading us to the most sorrowful part of her story: her stay in Ukraine. She describes feelings of hopelessness and rejection by all communities (Ukrainians, religious groups, arabs), who refused to let her escape with them. The theme of feeling alone is a recurrent one. In fact, we get to witness a video she took of herself when stuck in Ukraine. A video that was meant to be her goodbye message to the world, ready to make an end to her life.
We end with visuals of her, back in the subway, numb and tired, while she describes the struggle of being judged all her life for who she is, yet how today, with all of this pushing-through, and surviving against all odds and prejudice, made her capable of finally being herself, now more than ever, while in her apartment, dancing in slow motion with a trans flag, and a smile of gratitude on her face.
Director's Note
I was always curious to know how a young person, in the globalised society of nowadays, who grows up in a conservative household in the Middle-East, manages to deal with the limitation of their freedom, whilst having access through social media to witness western societies and their unlimited access to their self identification and assertion.
Being myself both Lebanese and Italian, and having just recently turned 20, a lot of these issues have been rising to the surface, as I am discovering myself more and more. Hence moving from Lebanon to a city like Berlin, where the sky has no limit, created a cultural clash in me which allowed me to question from an observant point of view the differences between these two lifestyles. Which made me eager to meet someone with a similar story, who might help me get a clearer picture of what it feels like to be thrown apart between Eastern and Western culture.
Since it was a university project, I had little time to find my character, so I went to a Middle Eastern bar in Berlin and randomly asked someone for a cigarette: this person was Lana Diamond. A week later, we started shooting the film. From that moment on, since it was my first documentary, Lana's story was so rich that I decided to have almost no interference with it and very little planning, only a camera to capture it all. And just like that, the film shot itself.
NB: the uploaded version is a work-in-progess. The whole sound design is in the works, the colour grading and some more space in between the spoken scenes is intended to be given as well. Thank you for considering this.
Crew
- Director, Writer, Sound Recorder & Editor: Elisa Ward
- Cinematographers: Kenza Tazi, Elisa Ward
- Producers: Sigridùr Gylfadottìr, Beatriz Coimbra, Elisa Ward
Credits:
Elisa Ward