4 Dimensions of the Feminine and Masculine Principles THIS IS A VISUAL NARRATIVE AND A SELF-AWARENESS EXERCISE

Light and Shadow of Masculinity and Femininity

Anima & Animus, Shiva & Shakti or Inner Man & Inner Woman are one-dimensional models that intend to categorize human energy and character traits. However, they can only explain the complex and multi-layered relationship between these polarities to a very limited extent.

For this reason, some schools of Tantra have introduced a second dimension. To the axis masculinity and femininity they add the axis light & shadow or positive & negative

Prepare to participate: For the next exercise, you will need a pen and paper or a notebook. Divide a blank page into four equal fields and add the headlines ”Soft, Strong, Hard and Weak”

Strong

In your own experience, what are typically positive or healthy masculine energies, traits and behavior patterns?

Browse through the photo gallery and write in the upper right field of your notebook some examples for Positive Masculinity

The following images could either show women or a men, as we all have both aspects within us. But to demonstrate the archetypes, it is more simple to choose male images for masculinity and female images for femininity. If some photos provoke reactions, it might have an important and valid reason.

Healthy Positive Masculinity is ...

Look again briefly at your list of character traits of positive masculinity

Hard

In your own experience, what are typically negative or toxic (?) masculine energies, traits and behavior patterns?

Browse through the photo gallery and write in the bottom right field some examples for the shadow side of masculinity

? Toxic masculinity is just another buzzword in the mainstream media. The concept of "masculinity" is often distorted by equating violent and abusive behavior by a few individuals with masculinity as a whole, propagating a very negative perception of men.

The Sadow Side of Masculinity is ...

Look again briefly at your list of character traits of the shadow side of masculinity

Weak

In your own experience, what are typically negative feminine energies, traits and behaviors?

Browse through the photo gallery and write in the lower left field some examples of the shadow side of femininity

The shadow side of femininity is ...

Look again briefly at your list of character traits of the shadow side of femininity

Soft

In your own experience, what are typically positive or healthy feminine energies, traits and behaviors?

Browse through the photo gallery and write in the upper left field some examples of Positive Femininity.

Positive femininity is ...

Look again briefly at the list of character traits of positive femininity

The two axes form 4 fields:

For this exercise, you will need a pen and paper or a notebook. Divide a blank page into four equal spaces.

Soft as Water - Positive Femininity (top left)

Hard as a Rock - Negative Masculinity (bottom right)

Strong as an Oak - Positive Masculinity (top right)

Weak as a Reed - Negative Femininity (lower left)

Self-Reflection Exercise

What connection and dynamics can you see between these 4 aspects?

We project our inner dynamics, the play between our inner qualities and shadow sides, onto our relationships and other people. For example, if our hard and critical side suppresses our weak side, we may look for someone who is in the role of the vitim and we then dominate our partners or co-workers, just as we do inside ourselves.

Look at the following example and think about, or intuitively recognize, in what way the 4 fields are related to each other. What is the dynamic between the 4 different aspects? What dynamics do you recognize from your own relationships?

Relationship Dynamics

Hard and Week are fighting

The conflict between the negative masculine and the negative feminine can only be painful and often becomes an endless struggle. The wounded warrior is afraid of his vulnerability, loss of control or feminine manipulation. The wounded feminine (in a man or a woman) becomes the victim and is afraid to trust. From ”her” past, her childhood or all her disappointments with the masculine, she has learned to close off.

And the negative masculine despises victims and their weakness. ”He” will attack the weak and try to control them so that he himself will never again feel small and unworthy; the way „he“ did in childhood ... "He" is like an angry child fighting with his mother and all the women who make him feel inferior. The best way to get back at the manipulative femininity is to intimidate them with physical superiority or punish them by becoming arrogant, cold or withdrawn.

Most relationship dramas play out between these two polarities, where both men as well as women can be in the hard, the masculine cold and controlling corner, or on the side of the collapsed, weak or worthless victim. This encounter will be equally painful for both sides and this dynamic leads to an impasse, no healing or resolution can take place here.

The big question is: How do we get out of this destructive dynamic?

Strong heals Weak

The wounded feminine longs for a partner who stands in „his“ natural and self-confident masculinity and can rest within. If "she" criticises and nags, the positive masculinity will not regress into a little boy, but will be able to welcome and absorb the negative feminine energy.

Positive masculinity will not condemn negative feminine energies because he knows that snakes only bite when they feel threatened. With his strength, he can withstand her emotional storms and mood swings, or simply hold her when she cries. He strengthens her, but never patronises. He is a protector with a warm and fatherly aura. Positive masculinity can stand above things without feeling superior.

This dynamic is healing for both sides. The masculine gains self-confidence and the feminine learns to let go and heal ”her” wounds. The only danger is that both get stuck in this pattern, then the masculine becomes the daddy and the feminine becomes the little girl, which drives them back, into the immature or dark sides of the feminine and masculine relating patterns.

The big question is: How can positive masculinity stand up to the female fire test?

Soft heals Hard

The wounded masculinity longs for compassion and acceptance. It will feel like a gift from heaven when femininity no longer condemns his masculinity as violent and toxic. "He" does not want to prove his worthiness, and he doesn't want to fight for his freedom, but to feel loved and accepted just the way he is.

Yet at the same time, feminine power is probably what the immature masculinity is most afraid of: lettings go of control, surrendering to a strong feminine energy and allowing vulnerability.

Deep down, ”he” feels like a little nutshell on a big wild female ocean. But he can only admit that when he feels completely safe. In his childhood, maybe all strong people were women and fathers were mostly absent. The only way to protect his freedom and integrity was to either fight the feminine or run away from it.

The mature feminine can give love and freedom and the recognition he needs. ”She” can love without making ”him” dependent. The warmth of the positive feminine can melt the ice and heal the heart without asking anything in return. The positive feminine can be in a relationship with a partner without creating contracts.

This dynamic is healing for both. The feminine can grow her compassion and empathy. And the negative masculine can learn to let go of control and trust the feminine wisdom.

"He" no longer feels inferior or jealous of her divine qualities because he begins to appreciate and utilize his positive masculine qualities.

The only danger is that both get stuck in this pattern, then the feminine becomes the mommy and the masculine becomes the little boy, .... and who is into immature men!?

The big question is: How can positive femininity develop such great compassion that even toxic masculinity finds a compassionate place there?

Love flows between Soft and Strong

Jalaloddin Rumi, a Sufi poet on the Path of Love, once said (loosely translated), "You don't need to learn how to love, you only need to remove the obstacles that stand between you and love.

For this reason, we do not give here any more ideas or instructions on how to love. We only need to become more aware of the negative dynamics and trust the heart that it already knows the way.

Appreciate