HELLO, AEAEA! I’m reporter Samantha Aguero, reporting with the lovely Greek Gazette gossip. Hermes has given us interesting information about what Odysseus had to do in order to get back to his lovely home, Ithaca. As always, make sure to subscribe to our catalog of articles, it’s only 500 drachmas a month, and we always have top quality information for our readers! Also send any gossip you have for us, with evidence included!
WHAT'S THE GOSSIP? Our lovely friend Hermes, just informed me that Odysseus slept with none other than Circe herself. What a scandalous man! According to Hermes, Circe was awfully quick to lead Odysseus to bed with her. Circe had to swear an oath to not harm our brave Odysseus, which was a smart move, Hermes. I’ll give him that. The lustrous goddess, Circe, turned Odysseus’ crew into barn animals! What a laugh, am I right guys? Luckily though, after Odysseus and Circe had gone to bed together, Circe turned them back. Now our men are more handsome, taller, and younger! She arguably did some of us ladies a favor!
HERMES WITH THE TEA!
We were lucky enough to receive so much information about what happened, thanks to Hermes. Now, Hermes told us he ran into Odysseus when he was on his way to get his men back from Circe. Hermes was nice enough to help Odysseus, and tell him the plan. The plan was for Odysseus to take a drug that would make him immune to Circe’s magic, and to draw his sword the moment Circe would draw her wand. Circe would then cower in fear, and trick him into going to bed with her, but Odysseus has to make Circe swear an oath that she won’t hurt him or strip away his courage. Odysseus was quick to agree with this plan, which was quite surprising to hear. Odysseus is a married man, afterall!
HEARTBROKEN ODYSSEUS!
After Odysseus and his crew spent a nice and long year with Circe, Odysseus still in her bed, our dear goddess told them what was going to happen next. They apparently have to sail to the House of Death. Poor Odysseus wept and wept at her bed, how heartbreaking for our warrior. Some say Odysseus wept her a river.
RUMORS ABOUT IT ALL! Rumors have it that Odysseus lost one of his men at Circe’s palace. I’ve heard through the shady grapevine that Elpenor fell off the roof of Circe’s palace, and snapped his neck. Ouch! Another rumor we’ve heard is that Odysseus has had a little incident with his men, and ran into sirens.. Now that’s a story we will definitely keep you updated on!