January 2025
Moving forward in the new year
What’s your New Year’s “Resolution”? What are you trying to resolve this year, if anything? Is it the cliche,“I’m going to get into shape this year”? You start hitting the gym regularly, but slide back into irregular visits and before you know it there’s a membership you’re paying for but not using (speaking from experience, so no judgement if this pertains to you).
Why do our resolutions so often fail? It could be that we’re not attending to the root issue – the core reason for why we’re stuck and not able to move forward with our goals, with what we want to accomplish. What could be the root that’s holding you back? These roots are deep-seated emotional challenges, accompanied by self-limiting beliefs, that are more often than not outside of our conscious awareness (i.e. “I’m not good enough / I can’t succeed” accompanied by shame and/or sadness). So, it simply starts with bringing awareness to what’s unconscious. How? Here are a few, practical tips for getting in touch with this deeper part of ourselves ~
1. Write ~
“Writing is a window to the unconscious mind,” said author and psychotherapist, Phil Stutz, in the Netflix documentary “Stutz”. When we write, we’re able to free-associate, allowing thoughts to pour out of us that otherwise wouldn’t have been accessible.
2. Meditate ~
There are so many styles/techniques, various meditation apps and videos to peruse from. My go-to is “Waking Up” (free, 30-day introductory course; more meditation app suggestions below). But why even meditate? ... to slow down, to feel more empowered in your decision making, emotions, behaviors etc.
3. Practice mindfulness ~
Mindfulness is nonjudgmental awareness toward one particular thing or set of things (i.e. sensations in the body, people in the room with you, the rhythm of your breathing). Mindfulness can apply to meditation but doesn’t have to! You can apply mindfulness toward sports/physical activities, interpersonal relationships (i.e. enacting co-regulation (see link below to article on this topic)), and much more.
4. SMART format ~
Perhaps there’s nothing that you currently need to resolve. We don’t always need to be seeking improvement. Sometimes, all is perfectly well. But, if you feel as though there’s something you ought to change, then make a change-plan, ideally following a SMART format (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely).
5. Acceptance ~
It is important to practice acceptance (of youself and your immediate circumstances) first and foremost, before launching into change (acceptance alleviates tension in the body and allows for us to be more open, to discover more options for change and can facilitate mental flexibility).
With whatever resolutions/goals you pursue this year, best of luck and enjoy the process!
- Other app recommendations to peruse: Calm, Headspace, Peleton
- Stultz Documentary information
- On Co-Regulation