March 2025
Coping with Change
Whether it be your upcoming allergies, the fluctuating, temperamental weather, or the political climate, there is no shortage of changes; so how best to cope with them?
1. Internal vs External Locus of Control ~
The external world presents us with more information than we sometimes know what to do with – an overwhelming aspect of living in today’s digital landscape. We are bombarded, constantly, with (primarily) negative stories that can leave us feeling hopeless and pessimistic about the future. However, what we have (and always will have) is the choice in how much attention we give to the things outside of our control.
The belief that external events impact our lives is referred to as ‘external locus of control’��.
'Internal locus of control' is the belief that our internal attitude, thoughts and behaviors largely drive personal goals, achievements, and outcomes.
We will all vary in how much we prioritize one form of control over the other, and that will largely depend on circumstances. However, it’s important to adopt, at least to some extent, this internal locus, so that we can feel that we have a sense of agency in our lives. Agency to do what? This may be a tough question to answer, though it’s an important one to reflect on – are your current behaviors aligned with your long-term goals? Have you thought about what those long-term goals might be? Outside of the basics (roof over your head, enough to eat, sense of community etc.) do you know what you truly want?
2. Acceptance and Change ~
When faced with our desires and goals, it’s vital that we strive to embody an attitude of “acceptance and change”.
We want to accept the progress that we’re making, in that moment, rather than resist the facts (if the progress isn’t exactly where we want it to be).
Then, we want to shift into evaluating our options for change; what’s the next, small step that I could take to reach me closer to achieving this goal?
If this all seems like too much to consider and implement, just start with a simple to-do list in the morning, where you jot down what you need/want to do that day, prioritizing the ‘absolutes’/ things that must get done, down to the things that you’d ideally like to tackle/engage with, but no big deal if you don’t get around to it that day. When sifting through content (i.e. a to-do list, and then checking back on that list a couple of times that day) we want to alleviate tension to the best of our ability.
Tension clouds judgment and reasoning; tension closes us off from possibilities, particularly in our perception of the choices available to us.
Try coming up with a “tension-reducing/stress-reducing” plan that you can commit to – now, and throughout the spring ahead. Two or three simple activities/behaviors that you either have past success with or that you would like to try, would suffice. A few suggestions to pull from:
- working out (aerobic and anaerobic)
- taking a walk and getting some sunlight
- breathing exercises (i.e. paced-breathing, see video at the bottom of this post)
- progressive muscle relaxation (again, video below)
What works for one may not work for another – think of the activities as trial and error, but be sure to give each one that you try a fair shot at succeeding (i.e. at least two weeks of paced-breathing and 30 min of exercise every morning).
Wishing you all well! If you want to share your progress or ask a question, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me – contact info can be found on my website.