Having experienced many instances of deceit, heartbreak, lies, neglect, and having a parent who doesn't believe in anything wrong happening mentally, I was left to harbor all the negative experiences within me.
Having no way to deal with what I was harboring, I turned to media and television.
I always saw those dealing with issues in bars. They would drink these small beverages constantly. I never knew what it was, but every time without fail, they, in all media, would consume it. In music videos, movies, tv shows. There had to have been some truth behind it thought 13 year old me.
Writing was my way.
8th grade was the start of my writing journey through a poetry project. What was initially me just writing random "poems" to pass the class, turned into me using my own time to study poetry and be enamored by the art. It also helped that poetry was a way for me to put my struggles "out there", but hidden in the text. Decipherable, but hidden through metaphors.
Writing for a while, why wait this long to share your work?
I debated for a long while about showing my work. I still struggle with people enjoying anything it is I do. I believe that people have a lot to deal with already, and my issues aren't something that I should burden them with. I figured I would just keep them in journals hidden in my room. If the day were to come where I pass away and my children, perhaps, happen to come across my multiple journals, then they would have the opportunity to learn more about me. On July 12th 2023, I passed away briefly and was then brought back after 2 hospitals attempting. The first hospital called my mom to see me for the last time as, "We don't think we'll be able to get him back". After two weeks, I was conscious and alive once again. Two weeks after being discharged, I found out that my poems haven't been put out anywhere...
That was a big thing, because only a pinch of people knew that I wrote poetry. And even smaller pinch knew that my wish was that when I die for my poems to be put out. I would like my poems to be put out so that whoever would like to know who I really was, can. And so that the general public can possibly benefit from reading the words on the screen. The work was never put out, that destroyed me. My single wish, wasn't even a thought in their mind. It was then that I decided to publish it all myself as I unfortunately found out that, we don't know what tomorrow will be.