“One picture is worth a thousand words” – Albert Einstein. So here are my a thousand words …

When you look at me, what do you see? You probably see a tall young black woman. You probably think I look too angry to approach, don’t you? Or maybe that I need to smile more? And then one day you come up to me and ask me … are you okay? You look upset. You’re probably thinking she has nice hair, is it real though? You’re probably thinking she’s not black enough. You’re probably thinking she is not good enough. You’re probably thinking that this may be too hard for you, how about we try something easier? You’re probably thinking … are you sure you’re capable enough to handle this?

At an early age, I knew I was different. I had friends but I never was a follower. I did my own thing and that was okay for me. I believe that was something that my mother instilled in me at an early age. Learning how to be comfortable and happy with the person in the mirror, and that is something that I still implement in my life today. I’ve always been a hard worker and pursued whatever I set my mind to.

During my childhood I went to school, earned good grades (because my momma didn’t allow anything else) and was there for my family. I started dance classes for some time and then started picking up a basketball around the 4th/5th grade. I began playing for the Stars in Bolingbrook, Illinois and then switched programs to the Illinois Rockets in Naperville, Illinois, where I played the rest of my years until I committed to college.

I was a multi-sport kid, running track & field during middle school, while also playing volleyball and basketball during this time. As I got older, during high school, I fixed my time solely on basketball. This sport has allowed me to meet a lot of amazing people, travel, and has also made me look in the mirror multiple times throughout my career. This game and this business are not for the weak. You dream of committing to a university, playing there all four years, and winning a championship or two … but that was not my story.

I transferred three times. I ended up crying a lot, redshirting my sophomore year, learning how to feed myself because I was no longer home, being financially responsible, facing mental and physical battles, sitting on the bench a lot, encountering people that aided me in my success, and meeting a lot of people that were detrimental to my identity and success as well. Mind you, during this time, I was not even 21 years of age, life had already thrown me curve balls, and I continued to strike out. However, I never gave up. Years were passing, eligibility was running out, and I was stuck with the question of “What am I going to do?”

I was taught growing up to figure things out. My mom always told me “If you don’t like something then fix it, and if you don’t want to fix it then don’t call me crying because you know the circumstances you are in.” That may sound like tough love, but it was real, and I will forever appreciate her for that. During that time, it seemed so cloudy and difficult to fix things when it felt like the cards weren’t in my favor. I can’t remember how many times I asked, “why me?” Why is everything so difficult for me but seemed easy for everyone else?

And during this time of questioning and self-doubt is when I got closer to GOD. To be honest, it is a work in progress to this day, but I know that if my heart and mind are focused on GOD and doing the best I can for him, and not man, then my life will be open to nothing but opportunity and blessings, and that is something I truly believe. Gaining and striving for this mindset every day, through the good and tough times, has been the reason I am still here today playing the sport I love. The support and stability that I have found through GOD has allowed me to open my heart and mind to a lot in life. It opened me to listening to understand, and not listening to be critical, being able to be the bigger person in situations, stepping into positions of foreign territory, and a lot of other values I use today. Through GOD, it allowed me to flip a negative situation and poor mindset into positivity and riches. It allowed me to accept the situation that I was in during that time in my life and understand that I can’t control other actions or opinions; however, I can control my own and place myself in the best situation I can to prepare myself for the future GOD has in store for me.

Countless hours of going in the gym alone and doing extra by myself, without the crowd. Thousands of shots put up, a lot of heavy lifting on repeat every day. Caring about my character and growth, mentally and physically, was important to me. Being comfortable with being my introverted self, but extroverted when needed or with the people I am comfortable with. Cracking jokes, laughing, trying new things are pieces of me that a lot of people don’t see after getting buckets on the court, and I understand that that’s okay. As long as I continue to be my authentic self, put GOD first, and do the right thing, the right people and blessings will enter my life when the time is right. Understanding that it’s never going to be easy and becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable are values I implement to build the woman I am today. But understanding that without GOD, none of this would be possible and I will never lose sight of that.

Fast forward to my life today. After graduating from my prior school with my bachelor’s degree, I moved my life to Richmond, Kentucky. I have encountered the most beautiful people in this town and some of the sincerest coaches I’ve had my entire collegiate career over these past two years. They see me for the person and basketball player I am. They are real, but challenge, encourage and trust me. And finally, I was able to blossom. I earned national recognition and was nominated for awards that 18-year-old Antwainette didn’t think was possible, all while earning my master’s degree in exercise science.

The moments that I encountered earlier in my life, yes, are a part of my story, but they don’t define me. The moments that define me are when I kept getting up when knocked down, when I lifted my head to GOD and refused to keep my head in the clouds. When I embraced me for who I am and, in turn, opened my arms to embrace the blessings and people GOD had in store for me. And though my journey is far from being over and just getting started, I am grateful for my people here at EKU and this place will always hold a special place in my heart.