Headmaster's Newsletter Friday 6 February 2026
Dear Parents,
I have long thought that one of the most dangerous words in the English language is ‘should’. ‘I should be doing this’, ‘I should own that’, ‘I should be going on holiday there’, ‘I should be as good at football as him’. This is not to say that I don’t believe in aspiration – quite the opposite! – but it’s how we aspire and achieve that needs to be carefully considered. It is not as simple as thinking ‘I want to achieve X, so all I need to do is A, B, and C and I’ll be fine’. Life is rarely as simple as that, alas, and the aspirational process is about working well as well as working hard. There is also little point in achieving X if, in the end, we are fundamentally miserable. As with most aspects of schooling, there is a delicate balancing act to be struck, and getting the balance wrong can end up undermining various aspects of the educational project. We have been thinking about this a lot this week because our current wellbeing theme is ‘I have healthy self-esteem and appropriate expectations of myself’.
There is a connection between having appropriate expectations of oneself and healthy self-esteem, and this is to do with how we – especially as children – evaluate ourselves, interpret feedback and learn from our experiences. When our expectations of ourselves align reasonably well with our abilities, we have a stronger basis for positive self-esteem. This builds confidence that ‘I can do things to which I set my mind’, rather than leading to avoidance or demoralisation because the jump between expectation and (current) ability is just too high. Large mismatches, through unrealistically high expectations or chronically low ones, can undermine our self-esteem. That, in turn, switches us off from learning and the whole thing has been a waste of time. Obviously, this ability or competence grows with time, and incrementally, as we set realistic goals that we can joyfully achieve as we move ever-closer to the ultimate target. This self-reflection and goal-setting has been going on apace in the prep school, as the boys have been completing their mid-year self-reviews, which will be sent home next week.
If we have accurate self-evaluations and if we learn what we can do, and how we can grow, then we are more likely to have stable self-esteem. At the same time, external feedback that recognises effort and specific achievement (rather than inflated or generic praise) helps to keep us healthily motivated, with challenges seen as manageable. This also guards against us needing constant inflated positive feedback, something which conversely can easily lead to an unstable sense of competence and self-worth – and one which is too heavily dependent on extrinsic cheerleading. Balanced, realistic feedback teaches us to view ourselves accurately and acceptably. If we can effectively achieve goals, with realistic expectations, then our sense of self-worth and competence is boosted, and our self-esteem consequently grows. It’s win-win-win, but it requires a subtle approach to learning, and one which takes into account the delicate balance between the expectations we have of ourselves and the impact this can have on our self-esteem. Because, if we get the second part of that equation wrong, we face the danger of storing up even more problems – a potential doom spiral – for the future. Get it right, though, and watch us fly.
Have a great weekend,
Matt Jenkinson
Congratulations to Maani who has been awarded a sports scholarship to MCS. Congratulations, as well, to Jack and Yoav who have both been awarded music scholarships to Eton. To have two such awards offered to boys from one school, let alone one as small as NCS, is quite the achievement. And if that wasn’t enough, congratulations to Theo and Arran who have both been awarded music scholarships to Abingdon!
Congratulations to ‘Magic 8 Ball’ who were victorious in last Friday’s NCSPA Quiz. And, again, enormous thanks to the NCSPA committee and the NCS SLT for putting on such a successful and enjoyable event. Get practising for next year!
Best of luck to our Year 8s who will be sitting their mock exams next week. As with everything we do here, the mocks are designed to be part of a healthy and manageable learning process, helping the boys to identify areas of development before their final exams. For some of our boys, sitting academic scholarships to local schools, those exams will be happening very soon – so we wish them the very best of luck too.
It was a real pleasure to host our annual inter-school debate between NCS and Oxford Spires Academy on Wednesday. Chris Gausden and Louise Brown were delighted to be joined by New College undergraduates Lucy and Cari, whose expertise and brilliant moderation added greatly to the occasion. As part of NCS’s educational partnership programme, enthusiastic students from Years 8 and 9, alongside a couple of impressive Year 10s, took on two bold and thought-provoking motions: ‘This House Would Abolish the Monarchy’ and ‘Flight is a Superior Superpower to Invisibility’. After the opening debate left the competition finely balanced, the stage was set for a thrilling finale. Oxford Spires Academy ultimately emerged as winners, but the margin was incredibly close, reflecting the outstanding quality of debating from both teams. The arguments were forensic, incisive, confident, and intellectually adventurous throughout. This fantastic annual event was a true celebration of critical thinking, mutual respect, and collaboration across the sectors. Huge congratulations to all the pupils involved. We are already looking forward to next year’s debates!
This term our chosen charity is the NSPCC. This long-established charity works with families, communities and professionals across the UK to keep children safe. Brett Morrison will be running the London Marathon to raise money for them: https://2026tcslondonmarathon.enthuse.com/pf/brett-morrison. As a slightly less energetic activity we will be holding daily bake sales in school next week. So please do help support this very worthy cause by making or buying cakes for us to sell at break times. The usual reminder: please ensure the products are nut free and are accompanied by an ingredients list. There will also be our traditional home clothes day on Friday, with £2 per pupil going towards our NSPCC fundraising.
10 February is Safer Internet Day. To mark that day, during wellbeing lessons several year groups are looking at areas to help pupils stay safe online. Topics covered include: the appropriate amount of time spent online, managing online relationships, judging the validity of online information, and why age limits are put in place for different types of media. Whilst pupils will be familiar with these messages from Coding lessons, we feel it is important to speak about these areas often. Pupils are also regularly reminded that they can always turn to staff at school if they are facing difficulties in the digital world. Internet Matters is a website which offers straightforward guides to pupils, parents and carers and sound advice: https://www.internetmatters.org/resources/online-gaming-advice/ Please don’t hesitate to get in touch if you would like to discuss any aspects of your child’s online activity.
World Book Day is on 5 March, and will be upon us before we know it after half term. As ever, we will be joining schools around the country in encouraging boys to come in dressed as a literary character (though not one who looks, say, surprisingly like a prep school boy in home clothes). Please do not go to any great effort or expense for this; imaginative and recycled costumes are often the best ones!
Upcoming Events
Monday 09 February 2026 Charity Week begins Start of Year 8/8S PSB/scholarship mocks week Year 3-8 mid-year self-reviews completed and sent home this week 14.30 U13 A&B Hockey v Bloxham, St Edward's Tuesday 10 February 2026 14.00 U8&9 Hockey House Matches, St Edward's Wednesday 11 February 2026 9.00 Chapel. Speaker: Revd Canon Rachel Carnegie, Chaplain of All Souls College, Oxford 14.00 U11 A-D Hockey v MCS, Away 14.15 U13 A&B Hockey v Ashfold, St Edward's 17.30 Governors’ Meeting (McGregor Matthews Room) Thursday 12 February 2026 14.00 U8&9 Hockey House Match Finals, Uni Club Friday 13 February 2026 Deadline for ABRSM exam entries Saturday 14 February 2026 Start of Half Term Sunday 22 February 2026 Chamber Choir rehearsal, Sheldonian Theatre Monday 23 February 2026 12.30 U13 A Prep Schools' Hockey Festival, Stowe Tuesday 24 February 2026 14.15 U8 (All) Hockey v MCS, Away 14.00 U9 (All) Hockey v Beachborough, Iffley Road Wednesday 25 February 2026 8.15 School Council meeting, CLC 9.00 Chapel. Speaker: Mr Matty Rolfe, former NCS pupil and current New College student 12.00 U10 A St Edward's Hockey Festival, St Edward's 14.00 U11 B-D Hockey v Chandlings, Away 14.15 U13 Cross Country House Matches, Uni Parks 18.00 Year 5 parents' evening Friday 27 February 2026 9.00 HPV Vaccinations Year 8 (ends 11.00) 14.15 U11 Hockey House matches, St Edward's Sunday 01 March 2026 18.00 Kids go Classical! Concert, Sheldonian Theatre (Chamber Choir only)