After Terry Hill’s husband and daughter passed away by suicide, Hill began to devote every waking moment of her life to mental health awareness by forming her campaign "Stop Minding Your Own Business." “You may not want to get in someone's personal life, because it's a scary and personal place, but oftentimes it's important for us to look out for each other,” Hill said. Photo Courtesy of Terry Bentley Hill
By Juliana Stimac
On Sunday, April 9, 1995, Terry Bentley Hill walked into her and her husbands room to find him dead from suicide. Nine years later, Hill’s 14-year-old daughter also took her own life.
Mental health advocate and criminal defense attorney Terry Bentley Hill recently visited the high school for Wellness Wednesday where she discussed her campaign “Stop Minding Your Own Business.”
The idea of "Stop Minding Your Own Business” centers around checking in on each other, because you truly never know what someone may be going through.
Hill frequently refers to “the language of depression,” which is a pattern of speech that she notices is used by people who are at high-risk for depression and suicidal ideations.
A key aspect in the “language of depression” is expressing a feeling of isolation and hopelessness.
“You almost feel like you live on a different planet where nobody is going through what you're going through, even though there are probably a lot of people who understand,” Hill said. “But that's what depression tells you because the chemicals in your brain aren't working.”
Hill is a self-described survivor of suicide, calling herself “one of those who have been left behind,” as both her husband and daughter took their own lives. Due to the husband’s high profile job, the news was everywhere, leading to an even greater impact on Hill and her four daughters.
“I couldn't say he had cancer or he fell over dead of a heart attack,” Hill said. “The suicide was out there and he was such a public official and so well-liked. I had four little girls at the time, and the impact of his death, which was such a public death, took a toll on everybody in the family.”
“You almost feel like you live on a different planet where nobody is going through what you're going through, even though there are probably a lot of people who understand.”
After the deaths in her family, Hill began to advocate publicly for mental health awareness, specifically checking in on others. Hill has been working with the high school for several years now, asking students and teachers to be aware of people who speak the “language of depression.” Hill noticed that her daughter who took her own life also spoke the language of depression.
“She would speak the language of depression like this: ‘I don't have any friends. Nobody likes me. Nobody will sit with me in the cafeteria,’” Hill said. “That made no sense to me because I knew all of her friends and they came over all the time. I just couldn't believe that she was sitting in the cafeteria at the middle school all by herself.”
Overtime Hill’s concerns grew and grew, until eventually she went to assess the situation herself. She decided to volunteer at her daughter’s school cafeteria.
“What I saw was a bunch of girls sitting around laughing, having a great time and nothing was out of the ordinary," Hill said. "What I found is that oftentimes our insides don't match our outside.”
Hill has spoken at various district schools to discuss what students, parents, and teachers can do for each other. She recommends keeping an eye out for students who use the “language of depression,” and checking in on members of the community.
“One of the gifts that you can give other people is to be empathetic and compassionate,” Hill said.
Students can visit personal counselors at the high school at most times of the school day. The counselors are there to mirror Hill’s advice, checking in on students or just listening to concerns.
“Essentially we like to strip away what's really going on and what is causing the stress,” personal counselor Christen Armer said. “Coming to the counseling office is huge because we're all very trained to work with students, to talk through that.”
“If you feel like somebody is hurting and needs help, get them help.”
Armer gets multiple visits a week from teachers expressing concerns about their students. Through these meetings, Armer can focus on the students who seem to be struggling.
Student council sponsor John Hinton echoes similar sentiments, and his experience with the student body and community has led him to voice concerns about the importance of mental health amongst students.
“Life is hard, being a teenager is hard, and being a student at Highland Park is hard,” Hinton said. “There's just lots of comparison, competition, and students can be cruel and mocking. So please just be kind, be respectful, and be understanding of one another.”
Hinton believes that even if people are struggling they won't always ask for help. To prevent this issue, he suggests that community members be proactive in checking in on one another.
“If you feel like somebody is hurting and needs help, get them help,” student council sponsor John Hinton said. “Even if it means that they get mad at you or maybe even if you lose a friendship, at least maybe you can save a life that way. Fortunately, [Terry Hill] is out there talking about [mental health] and giving her message, encouraging students to ‘stop minding your own business.’”
Hill continues to speak all across Dallas, using her past experiences to inspire students and communities to prioritize mental health.
“You may not want to get in someone's personal life, because it's a scary and personal place, but oftentimes it's important for us to look out for each other,” Hill said.