Two BYU— Hawaii students and an alumna share that growing from failure means becoming better version of yourself
While most people tend to avoid failure at all cost, three BYUH students share that growing from failures means learning how to work with other people, becoming more Christlike and changing perspectives on what it actually entails.
Failure leads to a stronger perspective, a more beautiful place because you learn from it,"
Yu “Bruna” Yamamoto said, a senior majoring in social work from Japan. “Don’t run away from [failures]. Face it and learn from it,” she shared. She explained that failure is a human-made concept, where it is a word human made to describe a mistake. “But it is actually a lesson where you can learn and grow and become a better person–a greater version of yourself,” she stated.
FAILURE AND BECOMING HUMBLE
Yamamoto said growing from failures makes an individual humble. “You learn from it and keep going,” she said. She recalled the time when she failed at her very first job. “My English was not good enough and I didn’t know anything about Polynesian Cultural Center [PCC]. That’s why I didn’t get in the first time as a tour guide,” Yamamoto said.
“But I knew in my heart that I wanted to be a tour guide,” Yamamoto explained. She said failing the first time as a tour guide gave me the chance to work at the school cafeteria for nine months and become a ticket taker for PCC for seven months. “After [more than] one year, I eventually became a tour guide,” she said.
She said being able to experience other work before becoming a tour guide led her to meet people that helped her along the way. “They helped me have the courage to try one more time [as a tour guide],” Yamamoto said. Although she was devastated by the rejection for her first time, Yamamoto said, she learned that everything happens in its own time. “I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I didn’t fail,” she said. She said not being able to get in the first try as a tour guide at PCC led her to appreciate what she went through and what she has now. “I experienced different jobs, which led me to understand that there is timing for all things,” she said.
“I can relate to other people. I have empathy for people who have the same experience as me,” Yamamoto said. She emphasized that it is a gift to understand someone else’s pain. “Not many people can do it,” she said.
Failure and becoming hopeful for the future
Aaron Joseph Badinas, a senior from the Philippines majoring in accounting, said growing from failure means having hope that there are good things ahead of you. “You are willing to get up whenever you hit a wall or whenever you stumble,” Badinas added. He said it is easy to lose hope when you fail. However, he explained that you will get sad a bit when you fail but you will grow from it. “It doesn’t mean it won’t happen again, but you’ll know what to do next time,” he shared.
“You can’t be the best without failing first,” Badinas said. He explained if you have not failed yet, you have not learned from life yet.
No one in this world is destined to be perfect, so make the most mistakes in life as you can and grow from them," — AARON JOSEPH BADINAS
Badinas stated that there is a difference between making the most mistakes then growing from it and just making the most mistakes. “If you keep making the same mistakes all over again and not learning from it then you’re not growing but if you made a mistake and learn from it means you’ve grown as a person– made you stronger and resilient,” he shared.
“It’s technically not a failure but in my [accounting] program, it is considered as one, and it made me think ‘Is this really the program for me?,’” Badinas said. He said it made him feel sad when he realized he failed the class. “I thought I was already a genius, an intelligent person because I came to BYU–Hawaii with just my first try,” he shared. Badinas stated that he was lucky enough to be part of the higher sections when he was a kid. “It made me feel chosen,” he added.
He said it made him question his purpose and confidence. “I didn’t want to do my best anymore because I feel like my best is never enough [for the program],” Badinas said. He shared that he became complacent after that incident. “I was too comfortable to just pass and get a C, which I regretted because I know I could have done better– studied more and played less,” he explained.
However, he said he learned that if you chose to do something and you commit yourself to it, then you just go forward with it and learn from your mistakes and then leave the feeling [of sadness] behind,” he explained. Badinas said there are degrees into his feeling of failing. “I did not completely overcome it but I just learned to forget it, learn from it and move on,” he said.
“When I failed the [accounting] class, I called my mom cause it keeps on bothering me, I thought she’s gonna be mad but she said ‘It’s okay, just do your best [next time]’,” Badinas shared. He said I have someone that is so significant in his life that comforted me during those troubling times. “It kind of hits me like ‘Oh, it’s okay to make mistakes,’ it gives me more motivation to get back up again,” he explained.
He said the failures he encountered led him to appreciate collaboration with other people. “I learned that it’s okay to ask for help from other people. It’s okay if you’re not the smartest in the room, you just need to find resources that are accessible for you to use,” Badinas said. He said that it is one of his definitions of success.
Success means being better than who you were yesterday,” he added.
Failure and becoming more Christlike
“Growth doesn’t mean you have to get back up and be the best [right away],” Jaleh Pahio, an alumna of BYU–Hawaii from California said. She emphasized that people usually confuse growth from success. “It’s like ‘Oh, I’m in a bad spot right now and it’s only gonna be worth it if I succeed or overcome this’,” she added. Pahio said growth from failures means having patience and taking the time to understand yourself.
Pahio said, growing up, she had a lot of health problems. “Although I'm the oldest in the family, I am the weakest,” she stated. She said she assumed that she would never be able to do things physically. She added that before coming here at BYU–Hawaii, she was studying animation in BYU Provo. “I was also in a relationship and I was dealing with an eating disorder. I just feel like the Spirit has been telling me that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be,” Pahio said.
However, she emphasized that a friend named Melody Christman reached out to her to help. “We served in the same mission and one time, she invited me to go on a hike. I didn’t do well [on that], but she was there kindly and patiently saying, ‘I’m gonna be there for you,’ and we made it on top of the mountain,” she said. Pahio said she realized she needed help and Christman was there to help her. “She helped me get appointments with WSR and counseling services,” she stated.
I realized that I am always worth it and I think that was a big part of my identity that I got to understand,” — JALEH PAHIO
She added that by saying a mantra to herself: “Just a little bit more” helped her to keep going no matter what the challenges she faced. Pahio stated that aside from her friend, Melody Christman, her now husband, Keanu Pahio, helped her as well to see her failures differently.
She said that through her fair share of failures, it opened opportunities for her to grow more. “I get callings in the Church such as being an emotional resilience teacher, which allows me to help others as well,” Pahio said. She added that grew in terms of maturity. “Then, I would just be kind of emo and curl up and cry about how my life sucks, but now, I became more mature in thinking that ‘This isn’t gonna last forever’,” she explained.
I feel like I’ve succeeded if I become more Christlike,” PAHIO SAID.
She said you cannot be impatient with others if you are patient with yourself. Despite the failures she has gone through, she said, being able to know her worth paved a way to not compare herself to others. “If I could go back to my past self, I would say that, ‘You are worthy of so much more and you can start living like it’,” Pahio stated.
Credits:
Created with an image by Tomasz Zajda - "Golden Autumn Foliage" Photos of Aaron Joseph Badinas and Yu "Bruna" Yamamoto by Hiroki Konno of Ke Alaka'i Photos of Jaleh Pahio by Jaleh Pahio