Issue No. 5
Apoc’s “Glacier Make-over” Ends in Disaster!
Article By: Monami
Glacier, the frosty paradise of Seichi, has been thrown into utter chaos, and who do we have to thank for this? None other than the enigmatic, beloved (or hated, depending on who you ask) Apoc! In a bold move—likely fueled by an unquenchable thirst for “improvement”—Apoc seized control of the Kage-ship in Glacier, promising to transform the village “for the better.”
And how did he do that? Oh, by dissolving ANBU and disbanding the clans, and kicking everyone out. Yes, you heard that right—he evicted his own village like a landlord with a grudge. Apparently, "improvement" means getting rid of the entire population. The villagers, unfortunately, didn’t share Apoc’s vision of a desolate, empty utopia.
Rumors are swirling faster than a Glacier snowstorm, with most of Seichi’s other citizens enjoying the spectacle. After all, nothing says “fun” like watching a village self-destruct—especially when you’re not the one losing your clan, home, and status.
The cherry on this frozen catastrophe? Apoc was promptly booted from Kage-ship, but not before he did enough damage to keep the village in disarray. Now, the Global ANBU has swooped in, presumably to mop up the mess and ensure no one else tries the "everyone out!" strategy of village governance. Word on the street is they’re working on a new system for selecting Kages, likely with fewer eviction policies involved.
What Apoc’s true motives were? Well, that’s anyone’s guess—maybe he was trying to turn Glacier into an exclusive winter resort. Whatever the case, Glacier’s left to pick up the pieces (literally), while Seichi watches in gleeful anticipation of what kind of political circus might follow next.
Seichi's newest and hottest journalist, Aven, did some further investigating on this matter. Keep reading for more details.
Stay frosty, folks!
Unrest In Glacier - an Exclusive with Apoc
Article By: Aven
Since the last issue of Seichi News, Apoc has continued to shake things up. The Bad Boy of Glacier, decided to take things into his own hands and challenged for the Kage position. Apoc is no stranger to conflict between him and his village!
An insider source from Glacier says
"I don't have any idea what Apoc wants. He said he’ll go with what people want. Vinny ended up as Kage, and Apoc challenged anyway. Besides saying he’ll respect people's choice. He’s been challenging for weeks. As far as I know Apoc and Vinny reached an understanding. Vinny was given Kage and Apoc challenged."
So why then did Apoc start challenging for the Kage position?
Other sources say
"He kicked everyone that is Jonin from the clan. People who had nothing to do with his beef with Vinny."
We asked Apoc, what happens to the people in those ANBU’s and Clans that didnt do anything wrong? Just caught in the crossfire? To which Apoc replied,
"Many were against me without any reason! Many I did not even talk to or interact with." - Apoc
"We agreed that if they include me in future Glacier plans, I will refrain from challenging for Kage-ship and would return back as being an ANBU Leader. The promise to me was broken so I did a challenge and won. In retaliation Vinny took my leadership of SEN and kicked me out of the clan to hamper my development. So I declared all out war against them. I also kicked every Jonin from SEN to keep myself safe." - Apoc
Do you intend to stay in Glacier?
"Yes, Glacier is my home. And I did more for it than the self selected leadership have. I’m the shadow of this village and I’m willing to do what is necessary to save it from the hands of the few. Glacier needs to create its own path and not be overly dependent on others! If others want an alliance, fine. If they have something to offer then that can be discussed.
Everytime I become Kage I never started a war and only worked towards peace! I even nudged the others in doing the same and Seichi had a brief moment of peace. Emotion leads one to hate, and hate leads one to conflict and war." - Apoc
Did you and Glaciers Kage used to talk in private messages since you were removed from the Glacier discussion group?
"Yes, until he broke his promise first. No discord, no ANBU, no inclusion in future Glacier affairs. After I have seen no action in any of those points." - Apoc
Apoc’s ideas were met with mixed responses.
Will Apoc’s desire to break the alliance bring the villages together, or send them further into war territory? Only time will tell..
The Paper Warrior
Have you ever seen the Paper Warrior, running round and round?
He’s living with the outlaws, just waiting to be found.
Article By: Aven
The village of Shine has found themselves at the center of a disagreement with a particular outlaw in Syndicate. Treyuchiha, former member of the Shine ANBU squad, wanted to run his own ANBU instead of just being a member of Shine’s current one.
So he took it into his own hands and challenged the Kage of Shine, Rill. Upon winning and taking control of Shine’s village funds, he used them to upgrade the ANBU building, allowing for an extra ANBU to be created. He also began to take steps towards forging peace and possible steps towards an alliance with the people of Glacier.
Trey suddenly taking a seat of power was met with mixed results by the people of Shine with some congratulating him, and others complaining that it would take awhile to undo what he had done.
One source saying
“Some people even congratulated him. Just wanted to know why we didn’t vote. And people were eager to just go and reclaim the points back. Now unless someone messaged him yelling at him, I think Trey was just being too hard on himself.”
The role of Kage was taken from Trey by Alle not long after, but this “betrayal” caused tension among the villagers as they began to discuss what to do with the new ANBU squad. Trey faced a small amount of backlash and because of that, he chose to leave Shine behind and start a new adventure among the members of Syndicate.
And so a war began.
Our little Paper Ninja wasted no time in kicking off his war and targeting people who were seen to have power within Shine, the elders, Kage, clan and ANBU leaders, as well as the strongest members of the village.
But how did Shine respond to the paper rampage that began? They retaliated of course and declared war back against the people of Syndicate, even managing to find their hideout and just waiting for the outlaws to wake up.
This went on for a few days, people in Shine getting papercuts over and over to the point that our Paper Ninja’s paper sword started to break from the amount of blood that covered it. And the outlaws in Syndicate were made to make camp elsewhere so they didn’t get caught up in the war.
There was, however, one person that Trey never touched in Shine, and that’s our very own reporter Aven.
She was forced to stand and watch as her village mates were murdered all around her, their blood staining the sand across the desert. Rumor has it that she still jumps every time our little Paper Ninja poked his head over Shine’s walls, scarred by the trauma that she endured!
“Every time I see him in Shine, I run and hide under my blanket!” - Aven
Would this war go on forever? No. The leaders of Shine and the Head Outlaws sat down together and began peace talks, well.. As peaceful as one could be with outlaws. And so the direct war between Shine and Syndicate came to an end, with both sides agreeing to stop locking each other down and be more neutral towards each other.
Love, Vows, and Ninja Drama: Seichi's Marital Mayhem Begins!
Article By: Aven
Love is in the air!
Hold on to your kunai and wedding rings, folks! After what feels like a millennia of waiting, marriage has finally made its grand entrance in Seichi—and the chaos that followed is nothing short of legendary.
And with it a flurry of marriage proposals and rejections quickly flooded the Global Tavern! The chime of wedding bells were ringing for hours all around Seichi! Hearts were broken! Secret admirers finally broke their silence!
Some married for love and had romantic ceremonies, inviting their whole village to attend and be a part of! With handwritten vows, new dresses and suits, and getting their photos taken together for all to see!
Some kept their marriage a little more low key, just enjoying finally being able to tie the knot after waiting so long! A few cheeky couples even ran off and eloped in the middle of the night! Others married for friendship!
The poor souls working at the marriage offices had no idea of the storm that was heading their way! Lets just hope that the Seichi lawyers are prepared to fill out a bunch of paperwork for a possible influx in divorce paperwork!
And for those still embracing the single life? Well, they're either too focused on their jutsu or just haven't found a partner who can handle their ninja skills. Or, you know, they’re already married to the Kage life—looking at you, Apoc, just kicked out of the Kageship but still stirring up enough trouble to keep Global Anbu on edge.
Could all that we needed to unite Seichi have been marriage all along? It could bring villages together, or drive them further apart..
Harem: The "Real" End Game
With the addition of marriage, comes the idea of being married to more than one person.
And of course the first person to take full advantage of this was none other than GoahWay! Who cheekily thought he would escape the Seichi news, but we caught him!
But that’s not all! Harem’s have slowly been born into Seichi and we are all here for it! But is five partners enough? People have already been calling for more options!
So dear readers, which side are you on? Will you marry for love? Join a Harem? Or live it up and party in the single life?
The only things we know for sure are, the Black Market has never been busier, and there seems to be a shortage of wedding dresses and tuxedos around Seichi!
To all the newly wed couples, everyone at Seichi news wishes you a long and happy marriage! And with that we would like to celebrate two big weddings that took place in Seichi!
“Rill of Love: The Rise of Seichi’s Legendary Wedding Priest”
Article By: Monami
Seichi’s lovebirds, listen up! If you haven't already booked Kage Rill to officiate your wedding, well, good luck getting on his calendar for the next six months. That’s right, folks! The man, the myth, the legend—Shine Kage Rill, wedding priest extraordinaire—has become Seichi's most sought-after nuptial guru. Rumor has it that marriages blessed by his poetic wisdom are guaranteed to last forever. So naturally, everyone’s scrambling to get a piece of that Rill magic.
But what makes Kage Rill so special? Why are ninjas from every corner of Seichi battling over dates like it's a bloodline inheritance? We got an exclusive look at two recent ceremonies, and believe me, they were nothing short of legendary. From tear-jerking vows to near-brawls, here’s a deep dive into why Kage Rill has become the undisputed lord of love.
Wedding #1: ParmesanDon & Saint—Love in the No-PVP Zone
The first wedding we covered? None other than the highly anticipated union of ParmesanDon and Saint, Seichi’s very own dynamic duo. What could possibly make this wedding more epic? Oh, just the fact that for one day, Shine was declared a no-PVP zone. (We didn’t even know that was possible.)
With enemies-turned-partygoers, rival clans grudgingly stowed away their kunai and katanas, ditching murder for merriment. And there, at the center of it all, stood Kage Rill, the man of the hour, ready to bless this union with his world-renowned, tear-inducing words of wisdom.
“Even the toughest warrior sheds a tear when Rill speaks,” whispered one guest in attendance. Honestly, we can confirm—his speech was a work of art, turning even the stone-hearted into blubbering messes. ParmesanDon and Saint exchanged vows that could've sent waves of emotion rippling through even the most battle-hardened of Jounin.
Then came the bouquet toss, which—ahem—yours truly caught (seriously, does this mean my wedding’s next?!). But before I could dwell on my impending nuptials, the afterparty kicked off with a bang. Drinks flowed, Seichi’s finest turned the battlefield into a dancefloor, and Kage Rill? Well, let’s just say he may have indulged in a few too many celebratory drinks. By the end of the night, the priest who could make hearts melt was seen challenging a couple of Jounins to a drunken Taijutsu battle. Thankfully, no bones were broken… this time.
Wedding #2: Celwind & Kazu—From Chaos to Clean-up Duty
Just days later, Kage Rill proved that even back-to-back weddings couldn’t faze him. This time, the love story belonged to Tsukimori's most adorable couple, Celwind and Kazu. Originally hoping for a small, quiet ceremony, they were quickly convinced to let the whole of Seichi celebrate their love. And what better location than the mystical, tranquil Freedom State?
The village was decked out in its finest (and so were the guests—seriously, everyone was flexing their Genjutsu-style fashion). And then there was the blushing bride, Celwind, dressed in a beautiful wedding dress, smiling for the first time!. It’s amazing what a bit of love can do! Kazu, meanwhile, could hardly contain his awe as his soon-to-be wife approached, looking more radiant than the midday sun over the Shining Dunes.
But, because this is Seichi, peace doesn’t last forever. Just as Kage Rill began his heartfelt ceremony, a scuffle broke out in the crowd—typical, right? Someone thought it would be a good idea to settle an old grudge during the vows. But like the seasoned pro he is, Rill didn't let a little (or a lot of) chaos stop him.
With the same grace and wisdom we’ve come to expect, he continued his speech, bringing everyone back into the spirit of love, even if a few combatants had to be dragged away mid-brawl. By the end of it, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house—myself included, though I’m still not over catching that first bouquet.
After the ceremony? A surprisingly calm afterparty, but here's the kicker: The bride, Celwind herself, stuck around to clean up after the festivities. Yes, the bride. You heard that right. Celwind, who was known for her fiery personality, spent the last part of her wedding day tidying up Freedom State. Talk about commitment—both to her new marriage and to the environment!
The Tale of Goah Way: The Rise of Rill, the Raccoon Kage
By: Goah Way
Goah Way, the wandering sun praiser, had experienced many adventures throughout Seichi. His travels had taken him across treacherous mountains, through mysterious villages, and into the hearts of people seeking light and hope. Yet, of all the remarkable encounters in his journey, none were as surprising—or heartwarming—as the day he met Rill.
It was a warm, sunlit day as Goah made his way through a dense forest near the outskirts of Shine. The gentle rays of Amaterasu filtered through the trees, casting dappled shadows on the forest floor. As Goah wandered deeper into the woods, he heard a faint rustling sound followed by an unmistakable squeak.
Curious, Goah followed the sound until he came upon a small raccoon, no bigger than his hand, trapped in a tangled mess of vines. The little creature struggled to free itself, its black-and-white fur matted with dirt. Goah knelt beside the raccoon, his voice soft and reassuring.
"Easy, little one. Let me help you."
With gentle hands, Goah untangled the vines, freeing the raccoon from its snare. The small creature blinked up at him, its bright, intelligent eyes filled with curiosity. It didn’t run away, but instead tilted its head as if trying to understand this stranger who had come to its rescue.
Goah chuckled, extending his hand to the raccoon. "You’re a brave little thing, aren’t you? How about we stick together for a while?"
The raccoon chirped in response, hopping up onto Goah’s shoulder. Goah smiled at the little creature’s boldness. "I’ll call you Rill."
Goah returned to Shine with Rill perched proudly on his shoulder. The people of Shine, who had always welcomed Goah back with open arms, were immediately charmed by the raccoon. Rill quickly became a beloved presence in the village, darting around with youthful energy and surprising intelligence.
Over time, Rill became more than just Goah’s companion. The clever raccoon had a natural curiosity and a surprising ability to learn from those around him. While Goah shared the teachings of Amaterasu with the people of Shine, Rill seemed to soak up the wisdom and warmth of the sun in his own way, always watching, always listening.
Rill began helping Goah with his daily tasks around Shine, showing an uncanny ability to organize supplies, solve small problems, and even assist in some of Goah's more complex teachings. It wasn’t long before the villagers started to notice Rill’s potential.
As the years passed, Shine continued to thrive under the light of the sun, and Rill grew both in size and wisdom. The once small and mischievous raccoon had become a trusted friend and advisor to many in the village. Rill’s intelligence and ability to understand both people and problems made him a natural leader. The villagers began turning to him for guidance in matters of strategy, decision-making, and even the settling of disputes.
Goah, watching Rill’s growth, marveled at the raccoon’s rise to prominence. One day, as they sat together by the Sun-Dee Shaved Ice Stand, Goah looked at Rill with a thoughtful expression.
"You’ve come a long way, my friend," Goah said. "You’ve not only embraced the light of the sun but have become a beacon of it for others."
Rill tilted his head, his eyes sparkling with gratitude and understanding. He chirped softly, as if to say, "I’ve learned from the best."
It wasn’t long before the people of Shine began to see Rill as more than just Goah’s companion. His wisdom, humility, and deep connection to the village’s ideals made him a natural candidate for a position of leadership. And so, the village council, after much discussion, made an unprecedented decision: they would name Rill the next Kage of Shine.
The day of Rill’s official appointment as Shine’s Kage was one of great celebration. Villagers gathered in the town square, decorated with banners and flowers, all paying tribute to the beloved raccoon who had become one of their own. The ceremony took place under the golden light of the sun, with Goah standing proudly beside Rill.
As the elders of Shine formally declared Rill the Kage, the crowd erupted in applause. Rill, wearing a small ceremonial cloak gifted by the villagers, stood tall on the platform, his eyes scanning the crowd with dignity and grace.
Goah knelt beside his friend, placing a gentle hand on Rill’s shoulder. "You’ve earned this, Rill. Shine has never had a leader quite like you, and I know you will lead them with wisdom and kindness."
Rill chirped proudly, acknowledging Goah’s words. Though he couldn’t speak like the humans of Shine, his presence and actions conveyed a wisdom beyond words. He had learned that leadership wasn’t about power or authority but about understanding, compassion, and guiding others toward the light.
Under Rill’s leadership, Shine flourished. The village became known not only for its devotion to the sun but for the wisdom of its raccoon Kage. Rill’s unique perspective allowed him to approach challenges in creative ways, and his deep bond with the people of Shine made him a beloved figure.
Rill led with fairness, his decisions always guided by the values he had learned from Goah and the light of the sun. The people trusted him implicitly, knowing that their Kage would always act in the best interest of the village.
Goah, now an elder statesman in the village, watched with pride as his once small companion became a symbol of hope and strength for all of Shine. The bond they shared remained strong, and Goah continued to advise Rill when needed, though it was clear that the raccoon Kage had come into his own.
Years passed, and Shine continued to prosper under Rill’s leadership. The story of the raccoon who rose from humble beginnings to become Kage spread throughout Seichi, inspiring others to embrace the light within themselves, no matter where they came from or how unlikely their path to greatness seemed.
Goah, reflecting on his journey and the many lives he had touched, knew that Rill’s rise to leadership was one of the most remarkable and heartwarming chapters in his tale. Together, they had shown the world that anyone, even a raccoon, could rise to greatness when guided by the warmth of the sun and the strength of their spirit.
The tale of Goah Way and Rill, the raccoon Kage of Shine, became legend—a testament to the power of friendship, light, and the belief that leadership comes in many forms.
And so, the tale of Goah Way, the sun praiser and wandering sage, continued, now shared with the legacy of Rill, a beacon of hope and guidance for Shine, and a reminder that greatness can be found in the most unexpected places.
Seichi's Ultimate Love Story Finally Sealed!
By: Monami
Folks, it’s finally happened. The moment we've all been waiting for here in Seichi: the union of our favorite van owner Lelouch and the ever-elusive, alleged cult leader Goahway! That’s right, Seichi’s beloved (and highly anticipated) couple has finally tied the knot—and we couldn't be more thrilled (or entertained)!
First, let’s take a moment to appreciate Lelouch’s sheer tenacity. This guy never gave up! Despite being publicly rejected by Goah... not once, not twice, but MANY, MANY times, our persistent van man kept the faith. He endured every cold shoulder, every "nope," and even a few "hard passes." His devotion is legendary, folks!
Even after the long-awaited marriage system was implemented, the path to love was full of obstacles. Chief among them? None other than Sora—the would-be love thief who tried to steal Goah’s heart for himself! Sora’s sneaky moves nearly cheated Lelouch out of the ultimate honor: being the first member of Goah's harem! (Who said romance in Seichi was simple?)
Sure, Goah may have married others along the way (it’s a harem, after all), but Lelouch? This man remains loyal to the end. In fact, he’s still the one-and-only truly faithful Goah enthusiast. Talk about a love story for the ages! Move over, shinobi battles, this is the kind of inspiration Seichi truly needs.
So here’s to Lelouch, the man who wouldn’t take "no" for an answer, and to Goahway, the one who finally said "yes" (after some serious convincing). Congratulations to the happy couple—may your van be filled with love, loyalty, and just a sprinkle of cultish charm!
Seichi’s Favorite Genin Takes the Chunin Exam and Hopes Her Crush is Still Hot in 10 Years!
Article By: Monami & Aven
Hold onto your ponies, folks, because Seichi's most mischievous (and possibly youngest) wind priestess, book-keeper, potato gardener, and unicorn-painting extraordinaire, Ms. Abby, has finally taken the big leap! That’s right, at the tender age of 12, our little troublemaker decided to take the infamous Chunin exam—and guess what? She passed with flying colors!
We’re not sure what’s more impressive: her new Chunin status or the fact that she managed to balance wind jutsus while painting sparkly ponies and harvesting potatoes. Either way, we’re here for it! Now officially a Chunin, we can’t wait to see her future raids and, of course, her latest unicorn masterpieces.
"I still find it wild that they make us fight to the death to prove that we are worthy of becoming Chunin, but I made it!" - Abby
Word on the street is that after VinnyMac crushed her tiny heart into a thousand potato pieces, Abby turned her full devotion to Fuijin, determined to train her shinobi skills and bring sacrifices in the god’s name.
However, rumor has it (thanks to some well-placed sources) that Ms. Abby still has VinnyMac’s poster and autograph proudly displayed in her room—because, hey, who can resist a good-looking ninja? She’s holding out hope that in 10 years, Vinny will still be as dashingly handsome when she finally “grows up.”
Congratulations to Ms. Abby on becoming a Chunin! Seichi, prepare yourselves—our resident unicorn artist and potato farmer is on her way to becoming a fearsome raider. And VinnyMac, if you’re reading this… maybe it’s time to return those calls before she masters wind techniques you can’t dodge. Let’s just hope VinnyMac stays as dreamy as ever!
Co-Editor-in-Chief: Monami
Co-Editor-in-Chief: Aven