Trust: The Linchpin Holding All Relationships Together

“Over a 30-year period, Gallup’s scientist studied more than 1 million work teams, conducted over 20,000 in-depth interviews with leaders. They also conducted interviews with over 10,000 followers from around the world asking them why they followed the most influential leaders in their life. Of the over 170,000 words in the English language, the word that was given by followers most often was, Trust!” Tom Rath, Strengths Based Leadership

I have come to understand that trust, like love, is not a cerebral exercise, but rather an issue of the heart. The familiar text from Proverbs 3:5 makes this clear, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart.” Because of this fact, trust undergirds and affects the quality of every relationship, every communication, and practically every effort in which we are engaged in life. Accordingly, trust has great value as I discovered and learned in the crucible of flying combat missions in the Vietnam War.

My first introduction to operational teams was with 16 men, half of whom were navy pilots and the other half were navy door gunners. We were one of nine detachments (dets) of Helicopter Attack (Light) Squadron Three based in remote areas of South Vietnam supporting navy SEAL and swift boat operations. Each det was assigned two gunships and each gunship crew consisted of a pilot, co-pilot, 1st and 2nd door gunner. The Seawolf Tactics Manual required that all combat missions be flown as a fire team, two heavily armed gunships going out 2-by-2. See Mark 6:7. Fierce fire fights, often at night, were the norm and forty-four Seawolves were killed in action. The Seawolves were the highest decorated navy squadron of the Vietnam War.

Suffice to say, trust-based relationships were required in that operational dynamic. I learned that such vital relationships were “grown into and earned” rather than immediately appearing fully matured. In this arena, there was a lot of: mentoring---purposeful trust-building---ego vanishing---revealed vulnerabilities ---and “newbies”, like me, were unconditionally welcomed into this band of brothers. Trust was the most precious currency to be exchanged and you quickly adapted/adopted as your learned that your life often depended on what I came to know as “bi-directional trust.”

When I first arrived on det, I had been in country about 2 months and had been flying single ship logistic type flights. This could be analogous to the man who has been attending church or maybe even a Bible study but has not been involved in any actual discipleship. So, on my first gunship mission I was a copilot requiring a lot of supervision and grace. Immediately, on becoming airborne, I learned to trust my pilot and the two door gunners. Over the weeks I became more of an asset and less of a liability as these 3 men and others invested in me in different ways. They were committed to my success.

After about 10 weeks I was recommended for an Aircraft Commander Check. I passed the check ride thanks to the investment of my teammates. Looking back, humility seemed to be one of the major fruits of brothers learning to trust brothers. Now, as a wingman, I would have to earn the trust of my fire team leader in order to eventually become a Fire Team Leader myself. Then the quest would be to earn the trust of my Fire Team as well as our shipmates, the SEALs, as I would lead the Fire Team into battle. I completed my one-year tour and was told that I had flown 507 missions.

Over time I became aware that elite warriors were not elitist. Rather, they are masters of the fundamentals of their trade. They possess a maturity developed through training and operational experience; seasoned disciples relentlessly pursuing self-improvement; absolutely understand the imperative of unit cohesion; wear stress and uncertainty well; share cherished values and a love of life and love for each other; are absolutely accountable; quickly and decisively covering a team member’s mistake rather than calling attention to it; and they love their mission--their calling---for which they are willing to die for each other. Jesus spoke of just such a dynamic relationship in John 15:13, of a willingness to give heart and soul for a friend as the demonstrated standard of no greater love.

Trust must be revered and guarded because it is the “linchpin” holding your team together. This would apply to business, sports, academia, church, political, and most assuredly marriage and family life. We know from research that “lost trust” is a major factor in the growing divorce rate and the adverse effect on American family life. The loss of trust on any team is devastating and once lost it is difficult to regain.

Honesty, integrity, and respect all are the fruit of a trust-based culture. The Gallup research found that in such a culture employee engagement is likely to be better than 1 in 2. Conversely, where there are trust issues with company leaders the employee engagement ratio is just 1 in 12. Just think what the impact of this could be in the dynamic of local men’s ministries. Trust also increases speed and efficiency in the workplace. Research shows that the leadership being authentic and governed by transparent motives is a proven way to establish and build trust among employees. The topic of trust is seldom discussed with successful teams. On the contrary, the topic of trust dominated the discussion with struggling teams.

What if trust became a recognized precept and understood goal in all of your relationships. As in all things team, leaders must lead by example. They lead by being transparent in their weaknesses and vulnerabilities and pure in their motivations. They are men without guile. Because of the natural tendency for self-preservation and fear of failure in men, this may require some self-sacrifice as well as personal courage on the part of the leader. Courage, another heart issue, comes from the same root word as coronary. Be strong and of good courage…do not be weak and cowardly.

Trust-based leadership builds and maintains trust-based teams. When we simply trust the leader and trust each other the mission comes alive wherever applied. I believe the most practical way for leaders to implement building trust with their teams is to follow King Solomon’s wise counsel. Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure everything out on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, and everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:5-6 (The Message)

I can think of nothing more enriching and rewarding that trust-based friendships and the resulting fellowship that has forged vital relationships with men over the past 50 years.

Barney Barnes, 09-18-2022, Promise Keepers National Ambassador for the Military and Prisons

.