For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11
CARMEN'S BIRTH MOM STORY
Placing my child for adoption was one of the hardest and most emotional decisions I have ever made. It wasn’t something I ever imagined for my life, and it took a lot of reflection, prayer, and support from people who truly cared about me and my child. I remember feeling overwhelmed with fear, uncertainty, and even shame at times during my pregnancy. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. But even in those moments, I was surrounded by love. Because of my experience, I want you to know that I truly understand how you may be feeling. This path is not easy, and the emotions can be complicated. But considering adoption is a brave and loving step that shows how deeply you care about your child and their future. Our prayer for you is that God gently guides you as you make decisions for your child. We pray that He surrounds you with peace, wisdom, and a supportive community, and that you feel His love every step of the way. For more information about my birth mom journey and other stories, check out the link below. Video was produced & created by BraveLove.org.
THE TEXAS GIRL
I was born in Texarkana, Texas in 1984. Texarkana is split between two states, Texas & Arkansas, similar to Kansas City. My mom tells me that it snowed the day I was born, although I never saw snow for the next 13 years we lived there! Kansas definitely delivered on the snow, there has been plenty of it since we moved here!
My mom was a single mom who raised both my little sister, Victoria, and me. We were very close then and still are to this day. We had so many great memories of watching movies together with snacks, and also trips to my grandparents' house for family dinner. My grandma, Hazel, was an amazing cook! Another great memory I enjoyed, was hanging out in my mom's classroom. I loved listening to her teach! She has such a beautiful gift as an educator.
My sister and I are almost 9 years different in age. When she was born, it was like having a real life baby doll! We were inseparable. Everywhere I went she went, regardless of how I felt about it! I would wake up at night and go get her when she cried. My mom was constantly telling me to go back to bed, and that she "had it under control". Sissy and I have so many pictures together as kids which made it was extremely hard for me to select just one!
Around this age, I was outside all of the time. I loved hanging out and exploring the neighborhood with my cousins. We'd find creeks to play in, trees to climb, and tunnels to explore. In addition, we grew up in an area of town that had several kiddos, so we would all play together as well. When I was about 10, I began helping my mom teach children's classes at church, sang in the children's choir and joined the Girl Scouts.
My grandparents passed away about 3 months apart so my mom decided to move the family to Kansas to be close to her big brother. I was a very opinionated kid as teenager. My mother taught be to have an opinion, but deliver it kindly. I did eventually learn to do that. I started playing flute in middle school and loved it! I continued playing flute into high school and was part of concert and marching band. Then I discovered drafting classes. I quit band to focus on drafting, since those two electives weren't allowed at the same time. I took three years of drafting and from there discovered my passion for Architecture.
College life was hard, and difficult, but rewarding! The College of Architecture, Planning and Design is one of the hardest degrees to get, but I was determined. Especially after I had a teacher tell me I'd never make it. I wanted to one day be able to show my son that I didn't squander my life away, that I was able to change for the better. I graduated from college in 2007, and worked for a year in Phoenix before returning home to work at my current firm. I have been with the same company, designing fun buildings, for almost 18 years!
THE KANSAS BOY
I was born in Wichita, KS in 1986 and have lived here all my life. Life has taken me to a lot of places briefly, but I always end up back home in Wichita. Every place I went, I made sure my best side was always forward, which is hard to tell from this photo.
The adventure is always out there! My mother kept me still for this picture because my imagination kept my mind active. I used everything around me as creative play. I'm sure in this photo, I was using that stick as a sword for an epic battle playing out in my mind. I've always wanted to relive those adventures with my future children.
Visits with Grandma's & Grandpa's were the highlight of our year, along with Grandma's cooking. When Dad and Mom had time off from work, we would visit family and do many different things. I learned most from my grandfathers who taught me meaningful life skills and lessons.
Because of our faith, the holidays always had a sense of magic and mystery. My sister and I always looked forward to seeing Grandma and the cousins at my Aunt and Uncles house during this time.
Growing up in a "Home School" environment, my sister and I were best friends, partners in crime, "Thick as Thieves". We worked together as lifeguards at the YMCA one summer, and always had each others' backs. Our family's favorite vacation spot was Branson, Missouri, specifically Silver Dollar City. While mom and dad would visit the shops, Christina and I enjoyed all the rides we could handle in one day.
During College I began to experience the freedom kids always want! During this time I decided to capitalize on education and future goals. While obtaining my Associates degree, I became involved in the Math & Science Club, obtained Math Honors, and joined the Creative Writing Club.
CAREER LIFE
THE ARCHITECT: Over the last 17 years working as an architect, I have had the privilege of designing many different types of buildings. Everything from churches to museums to community work, and some college work. However, since I spent so much time in my mom's classroom as a kid, I have a heart for education, and enhancing spaces where kids learn. Recently, I was promoted to Associate Vice President of my firm, and look forward to many more years of service to our community.
THE CYBER GUY: I am currently employed by the Air National Guard, working in the cyber field. Previously, I was in the Army National Guard, and was trained as an Army Medic. My job allows me to contribute and help those in my community and beyond. There isn't a lot I can say about my job, but it is an honor to serve.
HOW WE MET
Jai and I met on a dating website in 2018. If someone would have told us that we'd meet our future soulmate online, a few years prior, we would have laughed at them. Both of us were trying to navigate life after tough relationships. But little did we know... Jai was working out in western KS the day of our date, and was going to be late to the Chinese restaurant where we were meeting. I thought, "Oh boy, he's late on the first date!" He told me later that he almost called to cancel because of his tardiness. I am so happy that I waited around. We were inseparable after that first date. Our second date was him sitting in the car dealership with me while I purchased a new vehicle. He just wanted to be where I was, and I knew then that he might just be THE ONE.
THE PROPOSAL
Jai would have proposed a month after we met, if I would have let him. Let's just say it took me a little more time to be sure. He asked how long I wanted to wait, and I told him maybe in the spring... I soon regretted that time frame. A couple weeks after we started dating, Jai was sent to Camp Ashland, Nebraska for a 3 week leadership training. The two weeks before that, I was in New Zealand traveling with a friend. After a total of 5 weeks apart, I was more than ready to marry him. BUT I told him spring. Finally, on April 14th 2019, the wait was over. My mom took me to Botanica Gardens on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. She walked me through the gardens to a special location picked out by Jai. He escorted me to the spot where he would propose, and as I looked out, my family was there to witness the special occasion! He had organized everything so well. Saying "Yes!" was one of the best decisions I've made!
THE WEDDING
What a fairy tale of a day!! Both of us were up at the crack of dawn. I was off to a hair appointment and he was being kidnapped by his groomsman heading for a car wash! Let's just say they thought he needed to be extra clean for our wedding day. Our wedding took place at Crestview Country Club, on September 7, 2019. We later found that the company I currently work for designed that building in 1969. Both Jai & I are planners, so of course, we planned our wedding down to the minute and the penny. We paid for the majority of our wedding in cash so we kept a close eye on everything. Our amazing support team executed our plan well and helped our day go smoothly. My favorite part of the wedding was the smile on his face as I walked down the aisle, and his favorite was watching me walk down the aisle. At our reception, we shared our first dance to Ed Sheeran's song "Perfect". It was truly a perfect moment. During our reception, we honored the military service men and women in attendance by giving out commemorative coins to each of them as a thank you. We were sent off to our honeymoon in Branson, Missouri, with many a congratulations and so much love! We look back on this day with so much joy and fond memories!
When we got married, Carmen had two dogs. One was a diva of a Bichon & the other was a feisty Chihuahua. Those two would have been enough.... but then we met Arley! The company we adopted her from told us that she was a sweet, calm German Shepard mix who was around 2 years old. Turns our she was a sweet, hyper German Shepard mix who was a floppy 8 months old. Over the years she has mellowed out quite a bit. She loves children, is always bringing them toys, and is a fierce protector of the household. We are convinced that no amount of love or cuddles will be enough for our affectionate Arley girl! She loves going on trips with us when the drive isn't too far. We've taken her to see my parents in Missouri, where she loves playing with her buddy Prince. She also got to go with us to Little Jerusalem Badlands Park in Kansas, and Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas.
OUR HOME
After we got married, Jai and I lived in my small, 800 sf, bachelorette pad. In February of 2020, we bought a house together. It was larger and was closer to Jai's job on the southeast side of town. We wanted to have a home that we could grow into, a home that could host family and friends, and have a space for our hobbies. Our home is a full brick home, with 4 bedrooms and 3 baths. The front yard faces west and has large mature trees. Arley fully enjoys the backyard, and has plenty of space to run all the laps she wants. Jai put in a tire swing for the kids and they love it! Our fireplace is located in the basement, and we spend quite a bit of time down there in the winter enjoying the warmth and each other's company.
The space doubles for date night movies and cuddles with our niece and nephews. When at our house the kids will bring all their toys out to play in this area, it makes a great testing zone for new hot wheel sets!
We love to cook and try new recipes! After we find a recipe we like we change it up a bit and add new flavors. When the mood strikes we often dance in this space to our favorite tunes.
The dining room double as our game room. We love getting new board games and trying them out with family and friends!
Every time the niece and nephews come over, the first thing they want to do is go outside and play on the tire swing! They will soon outgrow it, but they'll play on it as long as they can, and our future children will eventually be able to play on it as well.
The original deck had officially come to the end of its life when one of the kiddos almost stepped through it. It was time to build a new one. We worked hard to get the other one torn out and replaced. Jai used the wood from the old deck to create a new table top. Jai loves to grill so this outdoor space is perfect for outdoor fun when weather permits.
OUR ADVENTURES
We are always looking for a fun adventure! Our jobs can be a bit hectic and stressful at times. Heading out to nature is one of our favorite ways to get some R&R! In 2024, we made a goal to visit all 63 National Parks. Last year we were able to visit four to kick off our goal. First was Hot Springs National Park in Arkansas, followed by Badlands National Park, and Wind Cave National Parks in South Dakota. We ended the year with Gateway Arch National Park in Missouri. This year we plan to visit another three parks in the state of Washington. There are so many things we enjoy about nature. We love the beautiful views, fresh air and getting exercise! One of our most memorable hikes was in Custer State Park, in South Dakota. It was very challenging, with a very steep incline for a very long distance. We laced up our matching shoes and took it on! At the end, we were rewarded with exceptional 360 views of the Black Hills. It was truly breathtaking and worth every bit of the hard work! We look forward to sharing these adventures with our future children!
INTERESTS & HOBBIES
We work hard and play harder! There are many different things we love to do to help relieve stress, and have fun. A few of those are reading, board games, leather work, trying new restaurants and playing cornhole. Playing cornhole & creating in our leather shop, are two of our favorites! In 2022 our church hosted its first cornhole tournament. We didn't know what we were doing, but a love for the game was sparked! Over the next year we practiced more and began to sharpen our skills, and even bought a set of professional boards and bags. A year later, it was time for the second annual cornhole event at our church. This time we won! We were also told that we could no longer play, so we run the tournament instead. As a couple, cornhole has allowed us to have fun together while also making some really great life long friendships.
As a young man Jaison got into leather work, and has been passionate about it ever since. When we met in 2018, he introduced me to the craft, and I immediately fell in love with the creative outlet, and started learning the skill as well. In 2020 we opened our leather working company. We made custom wallets, totes, watch bands, and baseballs, just to name a few. Every product was hand stitched, and took a lot of time! In 2021 we closed up shop. We wanted to prioritize our relationship and family, and not be completely drained of energy day after day. The shop is still a place we go to relax and make products for friends and family. Our nephews have shown an interest in the craft, and it has been a joy to teach them!
Jaison's Family
Pictured: Mom (Sandy), Dad (Rod), Christina, her son Brock, Jaison, and of course Mom & Dad's dog, Prince. Its always a treat during the holidays or special occasions when we can all get together! Mom & Dad live in Missouri about 4.5 hours away, so we don't get to see them as frequently as we like. There is always tons of joking, sarcasm and so much love to go around. This family has made me feel like family from the very beginning and I am happy to be an additional member of the family. I have always felt included in the family traditions, and I love hearing Mom & Dad tell me stories about their German / Russian family history!
For about a year Christina and Brock lived with us. It was so amazing to have little Brock in our home from the age of 6 months to 18 months. We got really good at baby proofing things, really fast. Sharing space isn't always easy, but its nice to have someone else to chat with after work, and a little ones laughter filling our home. Brock is now three and a half, and in pre-school! Christina is in the hospitality business and works at a local hospital.
Brock is a fun-loving three year old who loves monster trucks, hot wheels track, dinosaurs, and water parks! He has started pre-school, and has made many friends. He loves to cuddle, and play with Arley when he comes over. We are so proud of the sweet boy he has become!
Mom worked in a local print shop for several years and retired in 2021, and dad retired from nursing two weeks prior to mom. After retirement, they moved back to Dad's family land in Missouri. They spend time checking out the surrounding markets, tending their garden and land, as well as spending time with and caring for Sandy's mom who is in a local nursing home. Jai and I love visiting their home that sits on about 30 acres. Its quiet, tranquil, and allows us to refresh from the busyness of city life. Of course, Arley is thrilled to go visit as well, since she gets to hang out with her pal Prince!
Carmen's Family
Pictured: Jaison & Carmen, Paula (Mom) holding baby Tatum, Victoria (Sister), Matt (Brother in Law), Gabe, and Micah. Its always an adventure when we get this crew together! Our gatherings are filled with the giggles of children, toy clanging, reminiscing of times past, and so much joy. Mom and Victoria knew that I was the guy for Carmen, before she knew it. They were so welcoming and excited to have me as part of the family. Mom called me son before we ever got married. Since I met Carmen when the kids were so young, they are always so happy to see me. "Uncle Jaison!!" ringing down the hall, from one of these littles, is one of my favorite sounds.
Mom was a teacher for 31 years, in both Texas & Kansas. She retired in May 2021. Of course, mom isn't one to sit still for long, so she soon found a side job. Her first post retirement gig was working at a daycare, she soon switched to the daycare that her grandkids attended. Now she is officially retired and enjoying it. She spends time relaxing at home watching her favorite shows, keeping up with the kids' education, and having them over every chance she gets. She is strength behind our family. Our faith, integrity, and perseverance all came from her example.
My sister, Victoria, is such an amazing woman! I am so proud of her! She works hard and takes care of her kiddos. When I need to talk she's always there, and vice versa. She is a correction's officer for our local detention center. You'd never believe that was her job by her size, but she is great at it! Her kids have been such a blessing to us, and I am so happy that she is more than willing to share them with us!
Gabriel is 10 years on and finishing out his last year of elementary school! This kiddo loves drawing, building and creating things. He's a huge fan of Legos, and he is really good at putting together the sets. He started playing the trombone this year and loves it! Gabe is an excellent big brother and enjoys playing with his siblings. When he grows up, he wants to be a correction's office like his mom.
Little Micah is a fighter, he's our miracle baby. When he was younger he sustained a terrible brain injury and we almost lost him. With faith and prayer, he pulled through, and we are so happy he is here with us! He is third grade, loves science, math, and anything about outer space. Numbers are his obsession, whether its how fast light travels, how many steps he's walked, or his current heart rate, he's all about the numbers. When he grows up he wants to be an astronaut.
Tatum is a full bundle of joy! She is such a happy kiddo, always laughing, smiling, and greeting everyone she sees. She's outgoing, bubbly and a girlie girl! She loves playing with her doll house sets, dressing up in princess costumes, and watching her favorite movie "Bolt". Tatum is in first grade and loves school! When she grows up she wants to be a doctor or a policeman.
We are so grateful to be surrounded by a such amazing friends and family! They have been with through cancer struggles, infertility, and expanding our family through adoption. Their prayers, words of encouragement, and advice have been what we have needed to continue on this journey with our heads held high. We are thankful that God has put all of them in our life, and cant wait for our future children to meet them!
INFERTILITY JOURNEY
When we got married, we knew that we wanted to start a family right away. In the winter of 2017, I learned that I had cervical cancer. In 2018, I underwent several biopsies to confirm my diagnosis. My mom and I went to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston to learn more about treatment options. In April of 2018, I had a successful procedure to remove the cancer.
In December of 2019, after Jai and I were married, we started discussing pregnancy with our Gyn/Oncologist. After an extensive procedure, we were ready to start fertility treatments, which began in 2020. We went through two rounds of Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), pre Covid, and both were not successful. When everything began to open again we decided to continue our plan, but found out that my cervical cancer had returned. We received the all clear in 2022 and continued with a couple more IUIs, and unfortunately they were unsuccessful.
As a last resort, our doctor suggested In vitro Fertilization (IVF), which is very expensive, but we were willing to save up and try. It took several months and we were ready to begin. Unfortunately, I didn't have any follicles grow for collection, and my body did not take to the meds well; IVF was not successful. After IVF, it was time not only to let my body heal, and repair, but our mind and hearts too.
We had discussed adopting before, but had been a bit timid to pursue it. As a birth mom, it was a very sensitive topic for me. We prayed and asked God for guidance and direction. Jai and I have so much love to give a little one. We can't wait to share our faith, home, and family with future children. God has made it clear in our hearts that this is our next step. We are so excited to expand our family with our greatest adventure yet!
We appreciate you taking the time to learn more about us! If you'd like to learn more contact our social worker, Lori Titsworth at link below: https://catholiccharitiesswks.org/staff/17-lori-titsworth
Credits:
Created with images by dashu83 - "Child pilot aviator with airplane dreams of traveling in summer in nature at sunset" • mytour - "Love of books, reading.,An open book with folded pages of books in the shape of a heart.,Knowledge Day, Teacher's Day.,Library.,Reading books." • MarekPhotoDesign.com - "family word in vintage wood type" • UnitedPhotoStudio - "Decorative baby room style with wooden crib, bed, toys and cabinet style." Wedan Photography for couple's professional photos.